The Professor And Mr Jinks
by Elizagoth
Summary: When Steve applied to be Professor Helena G Wells' teaching assistant, he had no idea what he was getting into. While searching for Buddha's bowl in Nepal, Steve and HG run into the one thing that could keep them from success. Her career-long rivals, Myka Bering and Pete Lattimer. Now facing ancient booby traps and heated encounters at every turn, will HG come out on top?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: My first crack at a Bering and Wells fic. Written for the AU week challenge on tumblr. Not so much Bering and Wells in the first chapter, but it'll get there soon. Also, based of the 90's show Relic Hunter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the following work of fiction.

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It looked like an ordinary university. The gothic style architecture showed throughout the stone hallways and courtyards. Little did he know that it was to be his portal to endless wonder and enchantment.

After being tossed to and fro on a sea of bustling university students, Steve Jinks had stepped to the side and asked for directions. He was sent off towards an out of the way section of the sprawling campus.

From the outside it looked like a normal office. The door read _Dr. Helena G. Wells PhD _with _Ancient Studies_ written under it in thick block letters.

Inside looked like an exploded scrap heap. Bits and pieces of metal, computer parts, and bric a brac littered every available surface. Oddly the desk in the main office area was clean save four computer monitors and a keyboard. Farther in was what he assumed to be Professor Wells' office. The door was closed and the curtains drawn, but a muffled argument came from inside.

Before Steve could knock a loud crack was heard, sounding much like a car backfiring. Seconds later the door opened with a cloud of smoke. A young woman exited, pushing a pair of goggles off her blackened face.

"You set off the fire alarms again and Dean Nielsen will have us shut – oh hey," the young woman came to a stop, spotting Steve. The protective goggles had left two glaring white circles around her eyes, and Steve fought off a grin.

"Hi. I'm here to see Professor Wells?"

"New student?" she asked, eyeing him critically. Her intimidating look was ruined when she blew an errant pink bang from her forehead and choked on the sooty black cloud that came off the rest of her hair.

"Teaching assistant," Steve laughed.

"HG, the new guy is here! I'm Claudia by the way." Steve took a breath to respond before he was interrupted by a crisp British accent.

"Ah, you must be Mr. Jinks. Helena Wells."

A newly cleaned hand was offered to shake. It was delicate and pale, made more startling by the dirty blackness covering the other. Slowly Steve brought his gaze from the hands, up a slim frame, and slightly smudged face to a pair of curious brown eyes. They regarded him with a sharp look and Steve had the feeling of being measured. A moment later she blinked and the look was gone.

"Please, call me Steve. I really look forward to working with you Professor Wells. It's a great honor."

"Helena, please or HG will do just fine. Although you should save your praise Mr. Jinks, it's early yet. You may set your things –" she trailed off noting the clutter on the unoccupied desk. "Well if you can manage to find the desk, it's yours."

"Oh crap balls," was heard from behind one of Claudia's monitors. "Got an email from Leena. She must have sent it while we were working. Dean Grumpy-pants wants you in his office yesterday."

"Doesn't he always?" HG muttered, pulling the welding goggles from her head. She quickly finished wiping dirt from her hands and face. "Righty-ho then. Best not keep him waiting any longer."

"I'll let Leena know you're on your way."

Steve watched her go out the door then looked to where Claudia was staring at him.

"That would be you. Following her. Now!" Startled, he set his things on the floor and hurried after HG.

He kept pace a couple steps behind her, noticing the way the crowded hallways parted as she passed. It almost seemed to be an unconscious action by most. HG was pleasant enough with everyone, offering a quick nod and a smile as she walked. Steve could feel the interested eyes turning to him as he trotted along in her shadow.

"Any questions so far Mr. Jinks?" HG asked, keeping a brisk pace as they walked.

"Umm who's Leena?"

"Dean Arthur Nielsen's personal secretary. She handles most of our day to day dealings with the Dean."

"Is he really that bad?" Steve asked, as they came to a stop in front of the Dean's office.

"Only if he likes you," HG smirked, pushing the door open and waltzing in.

A young woman in a floral patterned shirt, Leena according to the plaque on the desk, stood from her chair and fixed HG (and by default Steve) with a scolding look. Steve was the only one who looked chastised.

"You're late," Leena stated plainly. HG shot Leena a winning grin which seemed to soften the assistant's ire.

"Next time I shall be early. Is he in?"

"He's waiting for you and –" Leena paused, turning her gaze to Steve.

"Oh! Where are my manners? Leena this is my new associate Mr. Jinks. Mr. Jinks this is Leena."

"Steve," he offered, shaking Leena's hand. A moment later he followed HG into the Dean's plush office.

Behind the desk sat a plump, greying man who glared from over the brim of his glasses. Across from him in two cushioned chairs sat a man and woman dressed in casual business suits.

"Ah Doctor Wells. How nice of you to join us," Dean Nielsen grumbled.

"I do apologize for my tardiness, Artie. I was getting acquainted with my new associate, Mr. Jinks." Steve offered a half wave from beside her.

"Doctor Wells, Mr. Jinks these are Ms. Malashree Dahal and Mr. Suraj Karmacharya. They have a problem I think you'd be able to help them with. They've come ten thousand miles just to meet with you."

"We're with the Indian Buddhist Historical Society and recently we've begun construction on a museum to celebrate Buddha and his teachings," the man began. He reached into a bag beside his chair and pulled out a cylindrical case. "During the process we've uncovered a map showing the location of the Buddha's bowl."

Her interest peaked; HG took the case and twisted the top off. Artie handed her a pair of purple protective gloves that she slipped on before unrolling the parchment.

"Where was this found?" she asked, running a finger carefully over the symbols.

"Kushinagar," the woman spoke quietly.

"The city where Buddha died," Steve offered, slightly miffed by HG's surprised look.

"We now know the place where the bowl was… 150 years ago," the woman trailed off.

Inspecting it a moment longer, HG stood straight again and rerolled the map. With a sympathetic grimace, she declared that she wouldn't be much help.

"Please Doctor Wells. We're prepared to pay you," the man begged, offering a handful of silver coins. Worthless in the current day and age save for their sentimental and historical value.

"Perhaps we could work out a contract and lend you the bowl to your university's museum for a time?" the woman added, hastily.

HG glanced between the two earnest guests and to Artie who was desperately trying not to intervene.

"Well with an offer like that, how could I refuse?" she shrugged, shouldering the case containing the map. "Artie, I'll leave you to sort the details. Mr. Jinks I believe you and I have a bowl to find."

"This is amazing," Steve gushed as they inspected the map on HG's desk.

"You seem awfully excited there Jinksy," Claudia laughed, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm a Buddhist, this is like finding a map to the Holy Grail."

Claudia shrugged and hopped up to sit on the corner of the desk.

"So what's the big deal about Buddha's dirty dishes anyway?" she asked, trying to see around HG's purple gloved hand.

"The bowl was said to have a never ending supply of coins," HG replied, pulling the magnifying glass closer. "This looks like the gardens in Lumbini."

Steve turned his head to get a better look at the symbols. Most of the text was worn away or so illegible that the pictures were their only hope.

"And that's a bad thing because?"

"Eventually it became more trouble than it was worth," HG frowned at the map. "Some sort of fish maybe? A koi? I don't know. we'll figure it out on the way." Steve threw a startled look between Claudia and HG.

"Is she? Are we? You mean, we're actually going? There?" he gaped.

"You bet. Pack your prayer beads Jinksy, you're about to have a religious experience."

XxxxX

**Hong Kong**

"Mykes I'm starving, can't we just stop for a quick snack?"

"Pete you just ate literally an hour ago! We're already late as it is." Myka Bering rolled her eyes at her partner's antics and kept walking through the crowded business district.

"I don't know about this MacPherson guy," Pete continued, easily keeping pace with Myka.

"Mrs. Frederic said that he had a copy of the map to Siddhartha's bowl. It would be and I quote 'an excellent piece for the museum's new Asia exhibit'." Myka didn't need to add that their curator weirded the hell out of her and it was wise to stay on her good side.

"Never mind that it supposedly never runs out of coins," Pete said, opening the door for Myka and following her inside. Myka threw him a surprised look.

"What? I read. Sometimes. When I have to."

"I know you do Pete. Now let's go get us a map."

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Like it? Love it? Loathe it? Let me know!


	2. Chapter 2

**Nepal**

"I know this probably isn't what you were expecting," HG offered as she settled into the old train seat. Steve raised an eyebrow as someone walked down the aisle with a caged chicken.

"When I checked yes to travel on the application, I thought more of the occasional lecture in New York or Boston. So far it's shaping up to be one hell of a first day." HG laughed and sipped from her water bottle.

"Your assistant is… different," he phrased, kindly. "She doesn't seem to share your love of history."

"Claudia? No, merely a passing interest. Her love lies more in the future. Claudia is the final word on anything to do with computers or technology."

"Where did you find her?"

"She's Artie's wayward niece. A few years ago her _expertise_ got her into a spot of trouble with the law. So when she came to stay with Artie, he foisted her off on the only other person who was a larger thorn in his side. I imagine it was intended as a sort of punishment but, much to his dismay, we got on like a house on fire. Now she's enrolled at the school and is my personal assistant in my work and my own personal hobbies."

"Sounds like Dean Nielsen got more than he bargained for," Steve laughed. HG made a noise of agreement.

"What about you Mr. Jinks? Tell me something interesting about you."

Steve frowned in thought for a moment. Further down the car he could hear the chicken clucking in displeasure.

"I can tell when people are lying," he offered finally. HG regarded him carefully with a skeptical raised eyebrow.

"That's quite a talent. If it's true that is."

"Care to test it out?" Steve challenged.

"Mr. Jinks, I think you and I are going to be good friends indeed," she said on a laugh.

Lumbini gardens didn't turn out to be quite as picturesque as Steve had imagined from the name. A stone's throw from the train station, it was noisy and crowded with locals selling their wares. He stuck close to HG as she wove between the livestock and the people, finally turning down a side alley.

"If the map is correct, this is where the koi should be," HG said, opening a door.

They were immediately immersed in the smell of stale cigarettes and the sounds of yelling coming from the main room.

"This was built on top of where the koi was housed so it probably looks a quite a bit different. You take a look in there and I'll go check the basement."

Steve nodded watching HG disappear down a set of stairs. He turned and parted the beaded curtains that separated the gambling parlor from the entrance. Around each of the tables stood men, all shouting in Nepali at the outcomes of their bets. Weaving between the tables, Steve made his way to the bar at the far side of the room.

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to have seen a fish statue around here would you?" The bartender gave him a blank stare and went back to wiping down the bar top. "Never mind."

He wandered back out to the tables, inspecting each game more closely. Seeing a game he recognized, Steve shouldered his way in between a couple of the gamblers. The round was coming to a close so he pulled a bill from his pocket and set it on the table. Not even slowing, the dealer changed his money to chips and began dealing the next hand.

A few hands later Steve looked up and saw HG hurrying his way.

"Sorry guys, have to go," he said, pulling all his chips off the table.

"Hey! You can't leave yet" complained a man grabbing Steve's arm. "I was just starting to get ahead here!"

"You!" HG growled. She grabbed the man by his shoulder and spun him to face her. "Pete Lattimer. I'm assuming that you have the koi?"

"You mean this?" came another voice behind HG. Steve watched as HG smirked and turned to face the woman holding the koi fish statue.

"Myka Bering, so we meet again. Taking in the scenery are we?"

"The fresh air. The mountains. The sweet smell of victory? Can't beat it. Now we'll be going. Come on Pete."

Before Myka could get the koi in her bag, HG had elbowed Pete in the face and rushed Myka, knocking the woman to the ground. Steve watched as the women wrestled for the statue and Pete slowly got back to his feet.

"Why must we always do things the hard way, darling?" HG gritted, grabbing for the statue. Myka quickly wrapped the woman's leg and flipped them so she was straddling HG's hips.

"Well I know how much you like it rough," she purred, using HG's distraction to wrench the koi from her hands. "Pete! Go long!"

Pete, having sufficiently recovered, easily caught Myka's toss and began his touchdown dance. Steve managed to slip between the people in the crowd and snatch the koi from his unsuspecting fingers.

"Hey! Not cool new guy!"

"Snooze you lose!" Steve called over his shoulder, running for the door. In his excitement, he didn't see Myka's arm until it caught him in a perfectly executed clothesline across the throat. He watched from flat on his back as she took the statue from his stunned hands and motioned for Pete to follow her out the door.

A moment later, Steve felt the meaty hands of a bouncer haul him to his feet and looked to see HG similarly restrained.

"HG? I think they're calling the cops! I could go to jail! Can you imagine what that's like around here?" he said, becoming more hysterical.

"Calm yourself Mr. Jinks. I'm sure they can be reasoned with."

HG turned and smiled sweetly at the manager with the phone, speaking quickly in Nepali. Steve watched her face fall and her voice take a more argumentative tone. Back and forth his head went, from one to the other like a foreign language tennis rally.

"What's he saying?" Steve asked during a lull in the conversation.

"We're in a rather large spot of trouble," HG said, her breathing suddenly turning frantic.

"Can I get some water, please?" she asked, on the verge of hyperventilating.

Steve put a hand on her shoulder as she made the universal symbol for a drink.

"Can't you see how upset she is? Get her some water!" When no one moved, he made to go get it himself. Before anyone could take another step, HG had thrown her elbow high into one of the bouncer's noses. The other was shoved roughly into a gambling table, while the manager just stared in shocked silence.

"I do believe the time to leave would be now Mr. Jinks!"

They hurried out the door and back into the market place. Running between the stalls, Steve chanced a look back to see the bouncers following behind and closing in quickly. He felt a tug on his sleeve, then HG was pulling him through a fabric doorway and behind the counter of a stall. HG pressed a finger to her lips indicating he should be quiet; then peeked between the fabric panels instantly spotting their pursuers not far from their hiding place.

"We'll just wait them out here."

No sooner had she completed her sentence did the owner of the stall walk through. The bells on the fabric doorway jangled, causing the bouncers to look their way. Steve followed HG as she jumped over the stall counter and caught the bundle she thrust into his arms.

They ran to the edge of the market, on to the train platform and jumped down between the stationary train cars. HG found an empty one and pushed Steve up the ladder.

"Get changed," she muttered. "Quickly."

"What? Here? We're just going to—" he trailed off as HG stripped off her shirt and stuffed it into her bag. "Yes, yes we are."

Once changed into more local outfits, they chanced a look outside. Not seeing their tail anymore, they slowly made their way back into the market.

"The next stop on the map after we had the koi would have been Bodh Gaya. I'm sure that's where they'll go," HG said as she steered them to the ticket line for the trains. "We'll get there, find a nice hotel; have a bath, and whatever passes for a cup of tea around here, then regroup and go after Pete and Myka." Steve couldn't have agreed more.

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A/N: Hope you're all still with me. I'm sticking pretty close to the show (Relic Hunter in case you skimmed my last note) and it wasn't super historically accurate. More like loosely based in historical fact. Hope that doesn't detract from the adventure too much. Hang on to your hats. More to come!

Like it? Love it? Loathe it? Let me know!


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